A Walk In The Park (Plaza): Words To Live By       Part 6. To have friends, you must be a friend.  

By Mayer Smith   


To have friends, you must be a friend but, choose your friends carefully.  Be not impressed with what positions they have held or now hold.  Rather, consider what they have done and, more importantly, what they are doing NOW for the good of others as well as themselves successfully.  The exception is when life has treated another in a way as to prevent “success”.  Then, you must truly be the friend.  

 Another word for Friend = Companion 

Too often, people seek “friends” for the purpose of self-advancement… the intent being to use these new “friends” without any personal like or attachment involved.  The method most often used is to ingratiate themselves in some way so as to appear to have done something for the “friend”.        

However, true friendship is more often generated when two or more people are involved in a joint effort be it in business or in a fraternal or religious project in behalf of some public entity. 

Without seeking to, one involuntarily attracts true friends when he/she assumes unpaid leadership or active roles in not-for-profit programs.  If successful in such roles, he/she will also often receive unsought meaningful positive public recognition and it might also open doors for financial advancement without seeking it. 

I recall when one of my friends offered to a mutual friend an unrequested loan of $5,000 because he appeared to be having some financial difficulty.  The check was accepted but, subsequently returned uncashed because the difficulty had been otherwise resolved favorably.  However, the recipient never forgot that offer of true friendship. 

All the foregoing being said, friendship can be generated when two people simply enjoy each other’s company or have interests in common or maybe just have similar beliefs.  That is when companionship also comes into play.