There is a curious history to the names of the Jewish months. In the Torah they are simply referred to numerically, Month 1 and Month 2 –names of the months only appear with the Jews post the Babylonian exile (Jerusalem Talmud Rosh Hashanah 1:2).
Like everything – nothing is random – particularly when it comes to a calendar system utilizes by Jewish communities across the globe. All Jewish communities use the month’s names when we write our legal documents, like kesubos.
Surprisingly the names aren’t even Hebrew in their origin – they are Babylonian – yet – they often strike a similar homophonic chord with Hebrew words leading the Talmud to deduce tells us if one dreams of the month of Adar he will have adarta glory and if he dreams of Nisan he will be saved from nisyanos (tests).
Time goes on and it became common practice to add a descriptive to some months – we have Mar (bitter) Cheshvan – and this month Menachem (comfort) Av. These adjectives seem appropriate – Cheshvan is the month of Noah’s flood and is devoid of any Holidays – something particularly “bitter” as it follows Tishrei – the month overflowing with holidays, and Av is the anniversary of the destruction of both Temples and the subsequent exiles, certainly a time in need of an extra dose of comfort.
Here is the interesting part – the month is called Menachem (comfort) Av – the word Av is father – so a careful reading of the phrase renders it a month of “Comfort the Father” – a month when a father; THE Father (our Father in shamayim) is in need of comfort.
This certainly seems backwards – aren’t we the victims of the destruction and the subsequent centuries of suffering, aren’t we the ones most desperately in need of comfort? Can we truly think of ourselves as offering comfort to A-Mighty G-d?! Does He need it? Can we provide it?
Yeshayahu 63:9 reads “in all their suffering He did not (לא) cause them trouble” – now follow this bit of interpretation. There are two words לא & לו – they are pronounced identically, yet mean something quite different. לא means “not” whereas לו means “to him” – so if we use a little Talmudic interpretation (Taanis 16A) we read the verse as “In all their suffering He suffers” – note also Psalms 91:15.
So does Hashem suffer along with us – or is He beyond (indifferent?!?!) to our pain?
In the 1960’s a man in the Crown Heights community was asked by the Lubavitcher Rebbe to help with a young woman who was struggling with her faith. He accepted this task and helped facilitate some written communication between this teenager and the Rebbe. At one point the Rebbe responded with the compassionate assurance that he felt her pain and – true to her blunt and open style – she responded: “I don’t believe you; how can one person feel another’s pain?” The Rebbe replied: “One day you will get married and have a baby and that baby will be teething and crying and then you will know what it means for one person to feel another’s pain”
Hashem is suffering along with us and we have a choice to make – do we fixate on our sadness, on our loss or do we look at Hashem’s loss? His home; the Sanctuary He asked us to build for Him (Exodus 25:8) is gone. The Land where His eye is constantly there, is under the dominion of those who despise Him, His request for daily sacrifice and services is interrupted, He is not getting what He wants, the world He created has been corrupted by the free choice making people He counted on to serve Him.
So we are faced with a choice – seek comfort or provide comfort. And here’s the good news – it’s not an “either or” proposition, when we provide comfort we are comforted.
“When the month of Av enters, we minimize happiness” (Talmud Taanis 29A) – a creative rereading of this phrase renders it as “when the month of Av enters, we minimize – the sadness through appropriate – happiness.” Barred from the standard “pick me ups” of music and meat, we enter the month in search of a more profound method of joy while mindful of the month’s tragedies – (see Talmud Makos 24 as to why Rabbi Akiva laughed at the sight of the ruins of the Temple). We find the theme in the name of the month itself; Menachem Av – bring comfort to Hashem – focus on what you are needed for rather than on what you need.
Rabbi Baruch Epstein is the Rabbi of Congregation Bais Menachem and is Lubavitch Chabad of Illinois Director of Community Outreach.
