Mazel tov! A baby girl! We are so happy for you! May you raise her to Torah, chuppah and maasim tovim! There’s a kiddish. Balloons. Onsies. Smiles. Help. In-laws. A busy Shabbos.
And a few days later the excitement dissipates. And it’s you, your crying baby, the other children and loads of work and laundry. Dishes too. Your wife is crying all the time. The other kids need attention. There is carpool and homework and swimming lessons. And your wife is still. In. Bed. Weeping. Hysterical. Bleary-eyed and she hasn’t showered in days.
Your mother calls and asks how everything is going. Your boss wants to know why you keep coming late and leaving early. Your wife’s girlfriends wonder why she hasn’t called to thank them for the meals and the baby gifts. But, your wife, in the minute or two since the birth when she was able to speak through her tears, swears you to secrecy.
You have no idea what to do.
Welcome to the club. Post-partum depression. Psychosis. Baby blues. Whatever the diagnosis. And what about depression, bipolar disorder and other mental illness not triggered by birth or major life changes? Aren’t most of us affected – maybe, maybe two degrees of separation – at most? A sister. A mother. A daughter. A wife. And a neighbor. A co-worker. A teacher.
So many people agonize in silence as they deal with a tremendous challenge, feeling ashamed to speak about it with others.
In a courageous effort to meet the mental health needs of the Orthodox Jewish community, Chazkeinu is a resource. As international peer-led mental health support group for Jewish women, this unique organization supports women, their family after the crisis through non-professionals. Friendships form with others traversing the journey of life with the challenges of mental illness. The women that are dedicated to Chazkeinu share a common bond – either they themselves have a mental illness or they have a family member that does. Chazkeinu is trying to fill the void in the Jewish world, so this lonely and painful journey is not so isolated.
Chazkeinu offers several programs to help women feel less alone in their illness. The partner program gives women peer-to-peer support. Over 200 members are paired up with another woman based on similar age and situation. Women are encouraged to reach out to their partner as often as they like.
The most sought-after program is the bi-weekly teleconference calls; members dial in from around the world to listen to the inspirational and down-to-earth speakers on the line. A mental health professional could discuss a topic of interest, like how to manage during the busy Yom Tov season, or a woman tells her personal story, or a rav gives inspiration that soothes the souls of the women on the line. There is also an opportunity for members to ask questions and make comments.
Through emphasizing confidentiality and anonymity, women feel safe sharing. No one is required to say their name on the conference calls and contact information is also never shared without permission. Anonymous comments to the speaker can be emailed or texted in to the organization, and then read on the conference calls.
Encouraging and uplifting emails are sent out to each week to over 500 members. Members can meet each other at face to face gatherings held in Chicago, Baltimore, Brooklyn, Lakewood, London, and Yerushalyim so far. There is an annual Shabbaton, giving women an opportunity to have an extended chance to get to know each other better. Last year over 75 women participated in the Shabbaton, including women that came from outside of the United States.
The “Empowered” hotline is open twice a week to any member of the Jewish community to call in and get free confidential non-emergency support from a licensed clinician. Those free calls can last up to 15 minutes.
The goal in Chazkeinu is to end the stigma surrounding mental illness – including the self-stigma where women grapple with their illness, plus guilt and shame. Chazkeinu is changing lives for the better. As one member put it, “After a phone meeting I feel like a new person. It is so therapeutic for me.” Jewish women will raise and teach the next generation of Klal Yisroel..the future of our nation will be brighter with organizations like Chazkeinu.
There will be a Chicago Chazkeinu Reception on Tuesday, October 23, 2018 at 8:00 pm at Chicago Torah Network 2823 W. Touhy in Chicago. Chazkeinu’s rabbinic advisor Rabbi Yisroel Grossberg, a renowned rav, posek and menahel of Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein’s Ohr Naava high school division will address the Chicago community. (See the April 11, 2018 issue of Mishpacha Magazine for a full profile on Rabbi Grossberg.) You are invited to come and be inspired by Rabbi Grossberg and learn more about Chazkeinu. Every member of the community is in some way affected by mental illness. This is a can’t miss evening. We need your support and Klal Yisroel needs Chazkeinu.
To find out more information about Chazkeinu, feel free to visit our website at www.chazkeinu.org or call 314-346-7414.
